As a child you wish to be an adult for the freedom. Sadly, it’s the exact opposite. Adulthood comes with many responsibilities, roles, obligations, demands. That’s why they say life’s best at the beginning and end – as a child and retiree.
The “in-between” is filled with society’s expectations, what adulthood should look like. I’d guess 90% of Americans live the “typical,” average life with a normal job, marriage, kids. One they also were raised in, as well as their parents, and theirs before them.
Tragically, the world has changed and many have become entitled pricks. I’m proud to say that my children are not but it is a struggle to raise them in today’s ever-changing world. People are disappointing. Society, as a whole, has gravely disappointed me.
So, it is the parent’s responsibility, more than ever, to make sure children are enstilled with real morals and values. In order to do that, I’m working hard to maintain a healthy self, trying my damndest to avoid being tainted by all the bullshit.
Loved ones are concerned as I follow this journey of self-care. Like I’ve said in previous posts, “The Brady Brunch” is very conventional, much more conservative than me, always have been. Not many people understand my weekly road trips to southern Illinois or my recent “life-change.”
But, that’s okay. Eventually, the ones that are truly meant to be, will stay and enrich my journey. Others, will fade into the background and some will eventually leave. However, I’ve come to peace with that.
I do realize every choice has a consequence; not just mine but those that cross my path. But, I’m trying my very best, every day, to consciously make good decisions for myself and the roles I play. However, I’ve discovered it is extremely challenging, a true test of mental and emotional strength.
Another road trip to Chester brought me turbulance and solace recently, much like life, with the ever-constant ups and downs.
Although I faced personal challenges, I focused on the present. I hiked. I took a swim. Then, I hit the road for my much loved and very appreciated road-therapy. Music in my ears, the wind against my face, views to both sides, and so much ahead of me.
Living one day at a time has not only helped my anxiety tremendously but it helps me gain perspective on what is important and in my control. Remaining present helps me keep the balance I desperately need to keep myself, my own identity.
Without balance, I will not only fail myself but I won’t be the best version of Meg. And, she has many important roles to play and responsiblities.
My personal goal is to be the best version of myself, not just for me. For my children because they deserve much better. Since I’m truly happy, I want my kids to experience the best possible childhood.
I want to share all of me. Not just the mother but the friend, confidant, writer, hiker, camper, adventure seeker. I want my children to know who Meg really is as a person. I want them to be proud of me.
I am very proud to call my father and mother my parents. I know what they sacrificed to give us the childhood we had. I know what kind of unconditional love and endless support we still have. I want to provide that for my children.
I also want to become a published writer. I’ve worked extremely hard on these manuscripts and I believe in my writing. My story. The characters. I want to travel and backpack Europe. I want to learn how to climb mountains and kayek. I love photography. There are so many things I didn’t think were possible.
Now, I know I can do anything. I believe in myself. That is an incredible feeling. Very liberating and honest. Raw.
I’m experiencing a beautiful sense of freedom. It sounds selfish to some but I suppressed my true self for so many years that I feel alive again. Just happy. And, I don’t mean any harm or pain.
I’m not naive. I know life still has those pesty demands. I’m intelligent. Well-rounded, thanks to that “Brady bunch” upbringing. However, that doesn’t mean this dreamer is gonna stop pursuing her dreams. Those dreams have now become goals.
Because if I want to teach my children anything, it’s simple: Be true to yourself and the rest will come to you. Live your journey, always and allows other to enrich it.