I feel like shit. Physically ill. Mentally overwhelmed. And, emotionally drained.
I recently experienced a “cluster” of seizures. Yes, very scary and serious, even for an epileptic, like myself. In the wake of this unpredictable AND unavoidable situation, I found myself with new job duties after six years. Being micromanaged after the success I’ve accomplished is extremely difficult for this type-A, anxious personality of mine.
In addition, I had to rely on family and friends for weeks. No driving. No exercise. Bed rest. No stress, ha! Needless to say, that was also difficult. I became depressed. Felt worthless. Literally, lost my worth in my occupation, my maternal role, daughter, sister, and friend. I was helpless. It was pathetic because I allowed myself to feel that way. I forgot about the gold I already struck.
Like “Mike” said, “I may not strike gold every day but it’s the pursuit. Whether it’s a flake or dust, doesn’t matter. Some days, I may not find anything but my persistence counts.”
Well, today, that’s what I did. Back to the basics. Road-therapy and nature. Yep, Chester. My soul place.
Windows down and music blaring. Wind in my hair and rushing against my arm as it dangles outside. Beautiful scenery provided by southern IL’s farmers. Road ahead. Freedom.
As soon I enter the park, I’m immediately at ease. Relaxed. Happy. Then, I pull into the same spot I have for over a year and set up. Some days include a hike. Others, just a walk. Every time, though, is filled with writing (my passion). Chester is like magic, even when I find myself in a writer’s block.
Most people don’t understand it. Some do. Regardless, I’m better here. ME. And, that’s what matters. Work is done, kids are taken care of. No other responsibilities, other than my own, which is to decompress.
Nature saves my soul every damn time. Even now, sick to my stomach, it’s not as bad here. Because, here, I’m happier. Peaceful, which helps the rest of my body.
An adult timeout. Take one.
Maintain yourself so you can be the best version of you there is to offer.
Thank you for reading. Thank you more for sharing. I’ve completed two manuscripts of a three-book series and I’m ready to move forward. Every follower helps in my pursuit. Sincere thanks. Meg Donahue