Personal tragedy. Conflict. Chaos. Struggle. Pain.
Beauty. Strength. Independence. Balance. Self-love. Gratitude.
Throughout the last year, I’ve experienced my own awakening. Unfortunately, it hasn’t been an easy process. Grueling but necessary, my for happiness, and those who surround me.
When one embraces such a journey, I don’t think you can ever really be prepared for anything close to such an eye-opening, life-changing experience. I know I wasn’t. The beauty in life…every person’s journey is their own.
Regardless, I’m happy to say how blessed I am to have gone through every single moment, even the times I hurt others as harsh as that seems. And, for those which I suffered, immensely. Without every step of my journey, I doubt I’d truly appreciate who I am. Where I came from. Or what I have.
I’ve learned many things about myself, too. Family. Friends. Society. Honestly, much of it disappointed me. It took quite awhile for me to come to terms with my own shit, though. I accepted others quickly, thanks to how I was raised; something “Mike” has been preaching to me, especially lately.
However, it was others’ perception of me that I struggled with the most. And that’s sad. Pathetic. But, it’s daunting to actually look at the person you’ve become through someone else’s eyes, especially loved ones. There were some things I didn’t like about myself.
So, I did the work.
First, I started with the easy part which was physical; lost 55 lbs. I eat better now and actually exercise. I love to hike. Swim. Kayak. Anything outdoors; not gonna find me in a gym. Those health freaks are right…it feels amazing. Empowering to be in shape. No, I’m not a model but now I’m healthy enough to enjoy life on a whole other level and that’s pretty damn gratifying. I’ve gained an appreciation for nature, too. Mother nature really puts things into perspective, for me.
I took the first steps toward my future as a writer, a longtime dream of mine and finally allowed others to read and critique my work. First time in my 38 years, beyond school assignments or sappy, adolescent poetry. I joined WordPress and Twitter. I completed my first manuscript and hope to finish my second, soon.
Even though many didn’t understand or like what I wrote, some people actually listened. Read my words. Recognized I had something to say. Meg Donahue. Huh, how about that?
I then dug deeper within myself. I’m not liked by many because of my honesty, boldness, choice of language. Some even began to judge the ink etched into my skin or my horrible habits. Although I may not understand or agree with their opinions, I’ve learned to finally accept them. By truly accepting others’ opinions or viewpoints, I’m being respectful, as I expect the same in return.
Yes, my language isn’t “lady-like” and my honesty can be abrasive. I have tattoos and a horrible nicotine habit. But, those things don’t make me the person I am. The peace I have within myself now has helped me come to terms with that because I’m happy with who I am. Finally.
I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. Trust me, I’ve known that since my childhood was spent with a boy as a best friend. However, I’ve never pretended to be anyone but myself. Purely authentic, just Meg.
I think she is pretty incredible, even with all the flaws. That’s more important than anything, even if it cost relationships along the way. Self-love and real happiness, independent from anyone or anything else, is the real secret to genuine success in life.
Throughout my journey, there was conflict. Turmoil. Loss. But, also triumph. Hope. Love.
“Everything happens for a reason.”
Something I’ve fiercely believed since I was a kid. Held true along my journey, too. Although sometimes it hurt like hell; other moments pleasantly surprised me.
I now know who my people are. I took my first solo vacation, not just a weekend getaway. Completed a book. Gained real independence and self-worth along the way. Became accountable.
After such an enlightening experience, I can now be happy and productive for myself and loved ones. No more neglecting myself. And, time is no longer a dictator in my life.
I’m trying my best to live one day at a time. The past is for learning. Present is for living. And the future is for dreaming.
Life is your own story with birth as its prologue and death as the ending but only you have the power to fill its chapters.