Acceptance is a difficult concept for most people to truly grasp. Both young and old. Being able to recognize something and not willing or wanting to change it.
The worst, clearly, is accepting the death of a loved one. Failure. Judgement; criticism. Not coming to terms with the direction of your life. Getting over the loss of a relationship.
Or, something as simple as accepting people’s personalities or habits. Rejection as a child, like getting cut from the team. Teenage “forever-relationship” ended too soon. Knowing there wasn’t shit you could do to help your parents divorce.
Accepting new or different things can be hard. Pain in the ass and uncomfortable. Tests our mental and emotional strengths.
Learned acceptance, taught by our parents, and generations before them, can be crippling. As in acceptance of gender, race, religion, politics. Until one becomes an adult, a person’s life view is greatly impacted by their family and how they choose to live their lives. For example, a family could be five generations of straight-ticket Republican.
Then, society, of course, has sadly influenced everything around us, including a concept as already complicated like acceptance. Image. Our youth’s obsession with social media has created a “status quo,” which has become deadly. Literally, resulting in suicides because our children cannot accept themselves. It’s pathetic and our responsibility as adults to end it.
During my awakening, I learned many things but this year I fully accepted myself. Truly. I’m finally happy with who I am. I go to bed with myself and wake up in that same skin every day. I live my life and own my feelings now. I accept me.
It’s a daily learning process but that’s the best part. I’m learning and experiencing, every day; enriching my life. Enjoying the moments. Living in the present.
“Acceptance is “this is it” response to anything occurring in any moment of life. There, strength, peace and serenity are available when one stops struggling to resist, or hang on tightly to what is so in any given moment. What do I have right now? Now what am I experiencing? To simplify, acceptance means allowing; allowing unwanted private experiences (thoughts, feelings and urges) to come and go without struggling with them.” Eckhart Tolle
I’ve already accepted others. However, I currently find myself accepting my responsibilities. Motherhood, first. Traditional employment until I become an “official” writer. And, continue to work on the relationships of those in my tribe. Work toward my goals. Accepting my responsibilities doesn’t mean I won’t continue self-care. That is vital.
However, if you finally accept who you are, it’s much easier to accept others. Accept life. Expectations. Demands. By truly accepting your own shit, it makes it much easier to swallow what you sometimes have to. It’s called life.
Try this. If you’re experiencing something or someone difficult in your life, take a breath. Realize in that moment what you can control or can’t. Don’t make a fool of yourself and be ignorant of differences. Make yourself knowledgeable, if need be. Each individual is different. The universe is full of diversity for a purpose.
If it’s a more sensitive situation, like the death of a loved one, don’t dwell on moments lost. Instead, focus on every moment spent together. Happy, loving moments of time. Wouldn’t you rather people remember you happy, than sad? I do. During that painstakingly process, rely on your tribe and trust your inner strength.
Be aware of the moments like Tolle said. Let moments of struggle or resistance come and go. Realize what you can control; what you’re able or willing.
Today, I accepted work. Accepted my employees and their grievances. Accepted the daily grind and what comes with it. I accept the hour or two I’m able to write. Tomorrow, I’ll do it again.
But, the best part is since I’m okay with me, it’s much easier to accept everything else.
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